Crazy/Beautiful

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I realized that there are more people reading my blog than I think. Truth is, I kinda miss blogging. A lot of stuff has been happening lately, like:

1. My sister’s back home for good!
2. I broke up with Raffy (but we’re still best friends. He’s my angel and I’m so blessed to have met such a kindhearted, loving person like him).
3. My "controversial" print ad for Marie France has been released. People may have a lot to say but I’m secure na with myself because I know I haven’t done anything wrong.
4. I had vertigo yesterday (as if newsworthy siya, haha). I promise never to take that darned shuttle from Marikina to Makati. Minsan na nga ako magcommute nagkavertigo pa ko. Praise God my CBC results say it’s nothing serious.

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I just wanna say KUDOS to the Women to Women Ministry of CCF for the Women In the Eye of the Storm Conference. I was just so blessed to have attended it and I’m so inspired to just keep walking with God. During my quiet time a few days ago, I realized that raising a godly generation all starts with a single choice and it all begins with me. Pastor Joby’s wife Cindy Soriano’s message on finishing well made me think a lot about my life and buti na lang they provided time for reflection and sharing during that segment. There’s no point in listening to that message if we don’t get to reflect, right? I also discovered that Pinky Marquez is her sister.

It was my first time to hear Tetchie Quisumbing (wife of Pastor Vic) speak also. She’s so candid and funny when she was sharing her experiences growing up (thinking she was a boy) and raising her own kids. I love her. I love Tita Cata’s message also on how to L.U.R.E. your husband. (Love, Understand, Respect & Encourage). I don’t think it’s too early for me to learn such things.

I realize that great speakers give messages that really come from the heart that’s why they were so inspiring. Each of the women in the conference allowed God to move in their lives in great ways. Buti na lang they chose God.

As for me, I choose God na rin.

I actually got this on December 15.  I just got down to writing this today.

Forgive me for stating the obvious but our society has really gone to
the dogs. Sometimes, I long for the days where things were more
structured and formal, where people minded their manners and had the
proper way of doing things. Jai (Rodriguez) was right. Our society is
increasingly becoming more and more informal.

One indication is the print ads and billboards I see all over EDSA as I
drive to and from work. Media selling has certainly been more creative.
Ads are now seen in places you never thought were possible. Cafe Lupe
in Guadalupe Nuevo boasts of its location as a place where you can wine
and dine under the signs. Not very far from this place where print ads
are high in traffic are ads that get to my nerves. One got replaced
fortunately. Let me enumerate:

1. Maxine Jeans - Jeans for plus sized women. "Finally, jeans that
fit". Thankfully, Filipino retailers have recognized the fact that
there are sizes beyond XL. However, this jeans ad which is perched
practically on top of the Loyola Memorial Park along Edsa beside (of
all places) San Carlos Seminary has a topless plus sized tisay
woman wearing jeans only. So para bumenta yung jeans kelangan topless
yung babae, ganon? I don’t know what else they are trying to convey in
that ad but frankly, I think the girl has a kawawa look on her face. I’m sorry but if the ad is trying to be sexy, um, let me say na hindi talaga. Besides, I know where I can get great fitting jeans, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

2. Bayantel ad - Satisfaction Guaranteed. Actually, the ad that I’m
referring to has been replaced. On the northbound lane of Edsa
Guadalupe, a picture of a child with chocolate syrup all over his face
hangs on the MRT station. This ad replaced the one with a
bare-shouldered woman with her eyes closed, apparently in the throes of
passion (ok, fine, having an orgasm). Underneath that is a caption that
says "satisfaction guaranteed". Here’s my comment: Bayantel, bumebenta naman kayo diba? Did you have to stoop to that level? Someone probably complained and pretty soon, that ad has been replaced.

I don’t see the billboard anymore but I see the delivery trucks of this product all over:

3. Milk Magic with Meryl Soriano. Before she appeared in that Up Dharma
Down video, Meryl Soriano appeared in this Milk Magic ad in a white
long sleeved shirt with a super low cut v-neck. Although wala namang
cleavage, kelangan bang ganon kababa yung neckline ng damit niya? It’s
just milk, for crying out loud, not a liquor ad. Mukhang mga mommies ng
school children yung bumibili ng gatas. And then the follow up ad I saw
really blew my top off. This time, she’s wearing a camisole top,
leaning forward with her top spilling all over the floor (kasi nakadapa
na siya). Siguro gumaganda na rin yung career ni Meryl so the creators
of this print ad decided to capitalize on her sexy image. Come on,
guys, it’s milk you’re selling, not sex. How can one not think of that
when all you can see is her cleavage?

I wish I could find pictures to support my entry but then my point is not to further endorse these ads but rather bash them.

I know, I should know by now that sex sells but people, can we just stop and think for a moment?
Do we really want to desensitize our children at an early age by
exposing them to such provocative advertising? What has happened to
creativity and responsibility? There are far better ways to market and
advertise without losing out to this "sex sells" mindset. There must be
an agency that regulates the release of these ads. Not only do they
contribute to visual pollution (as coined by Paolo Alcazaren) and
eventually cause traffic accidents but they are eyesores to people like
me who are mindful of their surroundings and the society we’re living
in.

Feel free to comment. I might add more to this list eventually.

"It’s Like That"

[Run]
Unemployment at a record highs
People coming, people going, people born to die
Don’t ask me, because I don’t know why
But it’s like that, and that’s the way it is

[D.M.C.]
People in the world tryin to make ends meet
You try to ride car, train, bus, or feet
I said you got to work hard, you want to compete
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

[Run & D.M.C. alternate lines for the remainder of the song]
Money is the key to end all your woes
Your ups, your downs, your highs and your lows
Won’t you tell me the last time that love bought you clothes?
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Bills rise higher every day
We receive much lower pay
I’d rather stay young, go out and play
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

Wars going on across the sea
Street soldiers killing the elderly
Whatever happened to unity?
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Disillusion is the word
That’s used by me when I’m not heard
I just go through life with my glasses blurred
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Huh!

You can see a lot in this lifespan
Like a bum eating out of a garbage can
You noticed one time he was your man
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

You should have gone to school, you could’ve learned a trade
But you laid in the bed where the bums have laid
Now all the time you’re crying that you’re underpaid
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

One thing I know is that life is short
So listen up homeboy, give this a thought
The next time someone’s teaching why don’t you get taught?
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is

If you really think about it times aren’t that bad
The one that flexes with successes will make you glad
Stop playing start praying, you won’t be sad
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

When you feel you fail sometimes it hurts
For a meaning in life is why you search
Take the bus or the train, drive to school or the church
It’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Here’s another point in life you should not miss
Do not be a fool who’s prejudiced
Because we’re all written down on the same list
It’s like that (what?) and that’s the way it is
Huh!

You know it’s like that, and that’s the way it is
Because it’s like that, and that’s the way it is

Humility is perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It
is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore, to wonder at
nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to
be at rest when nobody praises me and when I am blamed and despised. It
is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door
and kneel to my Father in  secret and be at peace as in a deep sea of
calmness when all around and about is in trouble.

~ Something I copied from Rachel Ashwell’s Shabby Chic book

from Crosswalk.com

What Men Really Think About Successful, Independent Women
Cliff Young
Contributing Writer

Have you and your friends ever looked at something, like a situation, an inanimate object, or a person and have come to totally different conclusions about it?  We all have.

I love how the human mind works – how fast it takes in data through the eyes, processes and compares it to personal desires and experiences in the mind, and formulates an instant impression.  I know men do this well, sometimes too well, especially when it comes to women (so I’m reminded by some of my female friends).

Many of them are “mature,” single, well established, have great jobs, own their own home, are very independent and are very happy.  They travel the world, they fix things around their homes and they serve in leadership roles in their church.  Maybe you know some women like this or possibly are one.  A question that I am often posed by them is this:  “What do Christian guys think of women like me?”  Knowing that this is a loaded question, I usually find some politically correct answer that seems to pacify them for the moment and move on.

I am now ready to come clean.

Not trying to speak for the entire single Christian male population, I’ve done some smaller-scale research and have come up with some non-scientific results in order to help women to better understand guys, as well as attempt to educate some men out there, if willing.

So, what do men think about successful, independent women?  I’ve broken it down into three major impressions with male personality types associated with each.

DISCLAIMER:  This is NOT an exact science, and there are generalizations in each category.  There is no one specifically who I was thinking of while writing this.

Attraction and Admiration

Many men are actually attracted to and admire women who are independent, self-assured, and established, no matter what some of you may think.  There is respect for what they’ve been able to accomplish in their lives and who they are as people.  Some of these skills are obtained out of necessity, but nevertheless many men find these qualities quite attractive.

Men who are drawn to independent, successful women usually fit into either of two categories.  They are either themselves independent, self-assured, and established, or they are very dependent, unsure of themselves and basically “mama’s-boy” (looking for someone to take care of them).

Men in the former group are more confident, know what they want and enjoy what they do.  They are usually ones who enjoy less “high maintenance” types of women and doing things for them out of desire rather than out of obligation or need.

Men in the latter group are those who may enjoy a stronger type of woman, who does not necessarily replace their mother, but are a satisfactory substitute or augment their mother in the relationship.  Men with no purpose or direction seem to be drawn to women like this in order to have a purpose.

Women often enjoy the attention and company of these types of guys for awhile, being the center of a guy’s attention and being needed, but soon realize that they have nothing to bring to the relationship.  Some women oblige in order just to have a relationship.

Intimidation

The most common reply from women as to why they are still single is that “men are intimidated” by them.  Many men can be intimidated by a woman who is capable of doing everything for herself.  Being with an independent woman can expose weaknesses or challenge a man’s abilities in the skills that she knows, thus injuring his ego.  They may look at women like this as threatening to their manhood and cause them to run.  It’s true (sorry guys).  Nobody wants to be shown up by others, and our society has made it a weakness for a guy to not be able to do something better than a woman.

One type of man in this category is usually not sure of himself and lacks the self-confidence.  Insecurity may play a big role which can often stem from upbringing.

A man who may seem to be intimidated by a stronger woman is in reality may just be “turned-off” due to a desire or preference for the “old fashioned” type of girl. Granted, the person that he meets may be that type of girl, but has just had to fend for herself over the years.

No Need Perceived

Some women give off the impression that they are so independent that they don’t need anyone else, especially a husband.  Many times this may not be the case, but a self-assured personality along with a settled lifestyle of having a home, career, and everything in order can make a man feel as if there’s no place for a man in her life.

Many men end up not pursuing women like this not out of intimidation, but rather out of perceived “ultra-independence” on the woman’s part.  According to many single males who I’ve talked with, some women puts out signals, consciously or unconsciously, that they aren’t interested in a relationship.  They are fine the way they are, and they don’t need a man in their life – no matter what they may say.

Many guys have told me how they were very interested in a girl, but she kept on emphasizing her independence and all that she was able to accomplish.  They were left thinking, “Where would I fit in?”

Lessons Learned

For Men:

    * Women want to be pursued, they want to be needed in a relationship and they want to be treated like a lady - chivalry is not gone or outdated (you may want to “Google” the term if you’re unsure of what it means; that would be a good start).
    * This is the case for many women:  YOU have the task of living up to what their fathers are or were.  It might be a good idea to ask about their dads, meet them if possible and emulate (not fake) some of the traits.
    * Vulnerability, honesty, transparency, communication are all traits that seem to be key to a successful relationship.
    * Being friends with females is great, but most guy-girl friendships need to be clarified at some point.  I once heard somewhere that in every guy-girl non-dating relationship, one person or the other at some point wants the relationship to go further than just a friendship.  Think about it, if it’s not you, it’s probably them.

When I was a child, I remember visiting my pediatrician’s office and seeing a poster in his office.  It read, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.  When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.”

I never gave it much thought, after all I was a child and as a child you can do just about anything.  But as a man, “I put childish ways behind me.”  Notice that this is a statement.

What I didn’t realize was that it came from 1 Corinthians 13:11.  There are a lot of guys still reasoning like a child.

For Women:

    * Guys want to be the “man” in the relationship (granted some don’t act like it, but in their defense many were never showed this in their home while growing up).
    * Guys want to be (or at least feel) needed.
    * Guys want their significant other to admire and have confidence in them.  I know that some guys may not deserve it, warrant it, or know what to do with it, but it’s important to a male psyche.  If you get to a point where you can’t do it, ask yourself “why are you in the relationships at all?”
    * Guys need a break sometimes.  It’s not easy to balance what guys should be like in the world and then get a differing interpretation in church.
    * Be sensitive to what the guy is trying to do for you.  To some men, it’s not easy dealing with some women.

Beware:  a potential relationship may be closer than it may appear.

Cliff Young is a contributing writer to "Sandlot Stories" (ARose Books).  An architect and former youth worker, he now works with Christian musicians and consults for a number of Christian ministries. Got feedback?  Send your comments and questions to CYdmg@yahoo.com.

To those who’ve been reading my blog posts regularly, you might remember an article on public education from Boston.com which I posted
last June 30. Even a wealthy nation like the US apparently is burdened
with providing equal educational opportunities to its citizens. Imagine
my excitement when I saw a segment in ANC this morning about a Filipino
who started a movement in Boston to address this issue. The name of
this movement is called Emagine
which was founded by Oliver Sicat, a 27 year old Filipino-American
teacher with the purpose of helping lesser-privileged students reach
their dreams. A graduate of USC Rossier School of Education, he started
out a marathon in Boston to raise $20,000 dollars to buy laptops for 21
Emagine students headed for college. You may read more about him in the
internet.

Anyway, nagagalingan lang talaga ako sa kanya. At 27, He’s done quite a lot. He’s a Filipino making a difference in America.
Wow. I was just thinking, what can I do to make this huge impact on
other people? I hope he can come to the Philippines and help
underprivileged  students here.

BTW, I also think he’s c-u-t-e.

I guess there’s still a LOT that we can do. I wonder what I can do….

I was watching an ANTM rerun last Monday night over at CC’s (Seaso
n 4, I
believe). I realized na ang hirap pala maging contestant dun. Most of
the models are barely in their 20’s and they are at the threshold of
letting go of or holding on to their identity. I hardly knew myself
when I was their age. I think the conflict is in being true to yourself
or allowing yourself to fit in someone else’s mold.

This
was clearly Tiffany’s dilemma. Tiffany comes from a poor background.
Apparently, naputulan pa ng kuryente yung lola niya just so she could
buy her a bathing suit. Her grandma wanted her very much to be in the
contest. The judges saw potential in her and apparently, she was given
many chances every time. It’s like she should have been booted out a
long time ago but Tyra especially took pity on her bec she saw so much
potential in Tiffany.

The last ordeal was reading a script for
the NY Fashion Week. A lot of girls really messed up in that exercise,
like they couldn’t pronounce Christian Lacroix, Liya Kebede,
et cetera. Finally when it was Tiffany’s turn, wala pa siyang 1/4 ng
script, she threw in the towel. "I can’t do it", Tiffany said. Tyra was
coaxing her like "come on, you can do it" but Tiffany wouldn’t try at
all. During the episode talagang nagkakalat na siya bec she kept saying
she really will.

Fast forward to when Tyra was handing out the
judgment, talagang ang lungkot ng mukha niya. (I was thinking nga "ang
OA naman neto"). Whoever received a picture (their best shot from the
Victoria’s Secret shoot) would remain. Until natira si Tiffany and
Rebecca. Rebecca was having a cow during the VS shoot because she felt
queasy about posing in her underwear while frolicking with a half-naked
man, well, because, she was engaged. Tiffany’s major boo-boo was the NYFW script reading thing.

Then
Tyra’s crestfallenly announced that both of them are out. Rebecca cried
and hugged the other girls. Tiffany did that too but parang wala lang
sa kanya. And then nairita si Tyra. Tinawag niya yung dalawa to come up
in front. And then she berated Tiffany. "You’ve really disappointed me". "We gave you so many chances because we knew you had it in you". And
then Tiffany was rolling her eyes and arguing with Tyra until Tyra
YELLED. "I’VE NEVER YELLED AT A GIRL MY WHOLE LIFE". "MY MOTHER ONLY
YELLED AT ME BECAUSE SHE LOVES ME". And kung anu-ano pa. And I kinda
felt embarrassed for Tiffany. She really needed to grow up. Like she
didn’t realize how much people believed in her and how she was taking
this not-seriously really let a lot of people down. This especially pissed Tyra .

There are a lot of lessons to this:
1. If you think you can’t, you can’t.
2. If you don’t believe in you, who will?
3. If you don’t wanna be taught, you won’t learn and you’ll stay the same.
4. It’s never too late to change.

The
point is not about giving up our true selves or not being real but
giving up something so we can gain something far better. Medyo
nakakahiya lang yung lesson ni Tiffany kasi milyon-milyong tao yung
nakawitness ng wrath ni Tyra. But it’s better that she learn now than
later.

I thought I was the only one who’s absolutely sick of the fuss over Brangelina, their traipses all over the world with their multi-racial kids and the birth of what could possibly be the most gorgeous baby in the world, being the offspring of 2 genetically gifted parents.

Well, it turns out that more and more people are realizing how hypocritical this Brangelina-mania is. Don’t get me wrong. I have always admired Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie individually as actors. I think they totally deserve the acclaim they’ve gotten all these years for amazing work. I also think that Angelina’s endeavors to help the world become a better place by saving orphans and refugees is praiseworthy. It totally makes her a woman of (beautiful) form and substance.

While it is good that Angelina has managed to recruit someone along with her to her do-gooder crusade in saving the world, I am firmly opposed to the husband stealing part of her personality. (You only need to steal someone’s husband once to be called a husband-stealer).  Clearly she is a complex character; twice divorced from Jonny Lee Miller and Billy Bob Thornton, french-kissed her brother in an awards ceremony, one with a track record of publicity stunts. I do not believe her humanitarian efforts are publicity stunts though. Her motives could actually stem from genuine compassion. This has turned her image around from bad girl to a wholesome motherly figure. Apparently, the trend in Hollywood right now is single women adopting kids but this is another story…

Anyway, I think it’s obvious that adultery has been committed. Brad Pitt, shame on you, not only for leaving your wife for another woman but for also not speaking up in defense of your ex-wife. You two can go on and build a united colors of brangelina family. Save the orphans, feed the hungry but steal your neighbor’s spouse.

Can I wear my Team Jennifer shirt now?